Transforming Limiting Beliefs into Strengths for Leadership

Transcript

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It's time to redefine leadership.

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Welcome to Modern Leadership, where we see things differently.

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Let's go.

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Hey guys, welcome back to another episode, super pumped to talk with you guys here.

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Today we have a really powerful question that came in from our Inner Circle team.

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So, for those of you guys who don't know, we have been collecting questions from our Inner Circle team, from people inside of our book club, which is inside of our app.

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It is something free that you get when you join the book club or the Inner Circle, but we've been like polling them, asking them what are some questions you would love to hear Some of the behind the scenes, maybe some things that maybe we don't talk about a lot.

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And they came up with man.

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I think I have like 13 different weeks worth of content here, but we also included.

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If you look at the podcast app that you're listening to this in, you can see there's a place where you can send us a message.

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So what we're going to do is we're actually going to be also fielding questions from you guys as we go.

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So if you're not a part of any of our programs, we want to still be able to help serve you as best as we possibly can, and we know a lot of the questions that get asked inside the app helpful for everybody to listen to, but we want to make sure that you guys have access to that too.

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So if you click on the send us a text message, it actually sends it directly to Buzzsprout, which is what we currently use, so we can answer those questions for you.

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So, without further ado, we want to get into today's question.

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And today's question is how do you overcome things that happened to you in the past that seem to be holding you back?

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So how do you overcome things that happened to you in the past that seem to be holding you back?

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And I want to hit this from a few different angles.

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So, first off, hi, welcome to the podcast.

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I didn't even like you.

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All right, nice to see you here today.

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So I want to hit this from a couple of different angles and I first want to call out like the elephant in the room when it comes to things that maybe you've been, that you've gone through in the past, like there's things, there's struggles, there's obstacles that we've all gone through, right, but then there's like actual trauma that we've been through and I think this person asked this question because they were trying to unpack some of the trauma that they had as a kid.

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And when we think about and this is an important aspect you got to think about the difference between, like, let's say, a therapist and a coach, right?

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So when I think about a therapist, I think about somebody who doesn't spend all the time but really is good at unpacking trauma and things that have happened, like child abuse, sexual abuse, like those kind of things that could literally keep you stuck for your entire life.

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Right, helps you unpack that.

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Yes, they do spend some time in the present and in the future, but they spend a lot of time because they have, like, the credentials and they understand psychology and how to like unwind that.

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Yeah, I wasn't sorry, I was just going to say interject that that they're licensed professionals and so they're also.

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They also specialize in certain things.

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So when you have a particular, also they also specialize in certain things.

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So when you have a particular issue, they could dive into that and they're trained to go through that.

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Yeah, yeah, 100%.

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I mean you have therapists who specialize with kids.

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I know we've had some of those specialists.

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I had a police psychologist that I went to multiple different times who would help me through things, and so they do have that specialization for sure.

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Yeah, when it comes to specifically helping people as a coach, you're helping people who are already moving to elevate their performance and getting them to show up in a way that they truly want to show up, and that's kind of like the difference between the whole coach and the therapist.

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Now there is some overlap, right, I know, for me personally, I have helped coach people who have been in therapy and it's been a really good synergy.

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But the gray area is kind of like in the middle.

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It's like where do you stop when it comes to having these kind of conversations?

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And for me personally, because I've been a police officer for 20 years I mean before I retired and got to do this full time I had to talk a lot about these things because that's what I was going to and responding to in radio calls.

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So I'm a little bit more comfortable talking about it, but I still don't go into the realm of helping people through trauma.

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That is something that I definitely make sure that I talk to them about Getting some outside help.

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Now getting to this question is how do you overcome things that happened to you in the past that seem to be holding you back?

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That is also what we do as coaches Right Now, and it could be something like um, you know you're growing up and somebody says you're dumb at math, or somebody says you're never going to be good at this right, or somebody says you're just not good at speaking right, and those things we can dwell on and they become a part of our subconscious mind where we now believe that and we have these things like.

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For me personally, my thing was I was big boned and this was was back when I weighed a hundred pounds more, right, and I was like, no, I'm just bigger, like this because I'm big boned and I believe that, and when I believe that it actually prevented me from losing weight, from being able to get into great shape and and being able to help other people with it too, and it was like kind of like the exploration of coaching and understanding that I was telling myself that story, because it was easier to tell myself that story, because it was, I didn't have to go out and do the work, right.

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It was like it's just, this is just the way that it is, and what I realized is is it also happened in business, it also happened in my police career.

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It was like I got very good at selling myself on a story that would prevent me from taking action.

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And that's really what we do as coaches right on a story that would prevent me from taking action, and that's really what we do as coaches, right Is we can ask some questions to help people identify what is actually holding them back.

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Now I do want to say this when I get to a coaching session and you guys have heard some coaching sessions we've done a couple here on the podcast so far and we're going to continue doing that for our Inner Circle members on occasion jumping onto our YouTube live and being able to take them through a session but, as you can hear, when we ask them questions, generally the surface level answer comes out, and as we're coaching, that's when the deeper thing comes out, right when I think it was Cheryl.

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She was like I don't want to let my family down, and that is like something that can pull you down in so many different areas.

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But it's also something, if you reframe, could be their greatest strength ever, right, and it's like I'm going to show my family that they are the most important thing to me.

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By being able to lean into this and excelling in this area right, and by using that From you know, moving it from your your limiting belief over to your superpower, it actually gives you so much more energy that you're able to show up and just like totally tackle that right.

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But it's one of these things where, when you have your past that you believe is holding you back and you really do believe it you're spending a lot of time focused on what's broken, wrong or missing.

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Versus, if you listen to us in a coaching session, we identify it, because we want to identify what it is, what that voice is, so that you are aware of it when it comes up next time.

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But then we create a plan that will help you overcome it and get past it and use it as your strength instead of your weakness and this is a personal thing.

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So I guess to answer this question is how do you overcome what happened in your past?

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Well, for us it's like the combination of whether it's therapy, depending on its trauma, or finding a coach that really understands how the subconscious mind works and helping guide you through that process.

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Right, I wish I could say there's like a book that you can read and you'll instantly you know be able to figure it out.

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But remember, our subconscious mind is subconscious.

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It means we don't think about it.

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It's not, it's it's.

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We have automatic responses.

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When we're in our subconscious mind, we have to bring it to our conscious.

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I mean, that's when that powerful quote from Carl Jung says until we make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life and you will call it fate.

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And that's what our job is is to be able to do that.

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So does that make sense?

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I feel like I talked a lot in this episode.

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No, it does make sense, it really does.

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And I think the thing I really like about coaching someone life and performance coaching someone is because a lot of the people that I work with they feel like they put a lot of emphasis on the action piece of it, whether they're doing a lot of the things that they think they're supposed to be doing or they're not doing it.

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So there's a lot of inaction going on and so they feel like they're spinning their wheels.

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But then it's kind of like the more and more that we have sessions and we talk through things and even them talking out loud kind of really helps them become aware of what's really going on.

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And it's not necessarily the actions per se, it's the stories that are happening, the thoughts, the beliefs that they have that are creating that experience for them.

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So that's kind of like the part I enjoy is kind of giving someone like awareness or helping them become aware of what's really going on and you know we can't go too many levels deep right but something that can actually help them just take that next step.

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Yeah, yeah for sure.

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And we'll end this with one like really important thing, and that is like sometimes, when you are focused on the problem and you're like I've got to get to the root of this, it can take all of your time and your energy away from you, while you could be actually creating a life that you truly want.

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So one of the things that we do as coaches is we recognize when people need to process it right.

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They need to process it, they need to say it out loud, they need to feel it right.

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This is that 50-50 that I was taught in my life coach certification, where it's like 50% of life sucks and 50% of life is amazing and everybody has their own 50-50.

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It's just everybody's 50-50 is a little different, right, but when you realize that there's some moments when it's going to be best for you to process it and some moments when it's best for you to reframe it and define a different way, that's what a coach can help you do.

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Way, that's what a coach can help you do, because sometimes we spend so much time of like I need to find the root of this when, in reality, if we take action, if we continue to get coaching, go through something like the push method, like we teach.

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You have a framework to be able to show you when that stuff's happening.

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Now you're going to be more aware of it when it happens, as opposed to trying to figure it all out all in your head right now.

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Yeah, that make sense.

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Yes, it is okay.

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All right, guys.

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Um, hope this uh session once again was really powerful for you.

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Would love to hear some feedback from you, whether you have some feedback related to um, this question that we got asked, or you have any other questions that you'd love us to answer.

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We greatly appreciate you for listening to another episode.

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Thank you, guys for what you do out there every single day.

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Keep leading from the front and we'll see you in the next episode.

Transforming Limiting Beliefs into Strengths for Leadership

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