Nov. 18, 2024
Rising from Rock Bottom: Redefine Your Life with Purpose and Resilience
What happens when life's pressures push you to the brink, and you find yourself at rock bottom? For me, it was the relentless grind as an LAPD sergeant coupled with the heart-stopping moment of my son's premature birth. In this episode, I share how these experiences transformed my perspective, forcing me to re-evaluate my priorities and redefine what it means to truly live. We explore the idea that rock bottom is not a definitive point in time but a mental decision, a pivotal choice to rise and never return. By shifting your mindset, you unlock new horizons for growth and transformation, even amidst life's harshest trials.
We dig into the critical importance of maintaining our physical and mental well-being, not just for our own sake but to be pillars of support for our families. Understanding your "why" can be the compass guiding you through adversity, providing clarity and focus needed to overcome obstacles. By recalling what drives you—be it family or personal goals—you can navigate through challenges and forge a new, fulfilling path. Join us as we uncover how to conquer negative thought patterns, embrace your true purpose, and craft your unique comeback story.
Chapters
00:00 - Navigating Rock Bottom and Comeback Stories
07:05 - Finding Purpose to Overcome Adversity
Transcript
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So, have you ever hit rock bottom?
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And what is rock bottom in and of itself?
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Well, today we're gonna talk about how you can not only realize where your rock bottom is, but what to do to make you have the best comeback story ever.
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Now, having hit rock bottom a couple times, one specific time that I remember, in realizing that I had actually, through that moment, let my family down because I hadn't taken the actions that I needed to take, it was that thing that didn't shame or guilt myself into taking action, but it helped me find a different reason why I needed to succeed and when I wanted to do that and decided to do that.
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Actually, it brought so many different ideas and strategies that I would have never thought of if I hadn't hit rock bottom in the first place.
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And that's what we want to do for you today.
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We want to walk you through the path of how to decide when rock bottom is and what to do to make you have the best comeback story ever.
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And if you're ready to do that with us, let's go.
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It's time to redefine leadership.
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Welcome to Modern Leadership, where we see things differently.
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Our podcast is all about empowering entrepreneurs like you to achieve the next level of success in business and life.
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We want to thank you for being here, because the world needs your leadership now more than ever.
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Let's go.
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So welcome back to Modern Leadership, where we help you build a business and career you love, connect deeper with your family and make sure your physical and mental health are on point.
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Not only that, but help you get and stay in the best shape of your life.
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So welcome back to the channel.
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Whether you're brand new, whether you're part of the inner circle, we want to welcome you to dive in to this really important topic, which is hitting rock bottom.
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All right.
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So the first question is what does hitting rock bottom even mean, and how do you know when you're there?
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When I think about the story of me hitting rock bottom, it is when I was giving everything to my career being an LAPD sergeant, spending all my waking time and energy thinking that that's what I had to do, and how I showed love for my family was working harder and working longer and more overtime, and all the things that took me away from them.
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Now, on top of that, I was not taking care of my physical and mental health.
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I was about 100 pounds overweight and it was not a pretty sight, and it wasn't until my son, andrew, was born, when he was one pound nine ounces.
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He had to spend 73 days in the NICU, and when your first kid is born and they tell you you can go home, we need to keep him here.
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That's where I decided that that was my rock bottom.
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Now here's the truth about rock bottom.
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Rock bottom is merely a thought.
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It's a decision that you can make at any point, where you decide I'm never going to be here again.
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The truth is is you can decide that that was six months ago, but you can also decide that could be three years from now.
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You get to decide and once you make that decision, I got to tell you.
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It's so freeing that all of the other excuses melt by the wayside.
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If you don't make that decision, or you think that you've made a decision, you'll notice that those same things will still keep coming up.
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That's why we put together today's training because we want you to become aware of when you officially make that decision, when your mindset is into.
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This is never going to happen again, that you can fully lean into it and create some incredible results.
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So that's what rock bottom is.
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It's a thought that you have and you get to decide any moment where your rock bottom is.
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Now I want to actually talk a little bit about this whole process of rock bottom, not in the let's turn it around and do our comeback story yet, but in the thoughts that we have about hitting rock bottom, because once our mindset's on point, then all the tactics can work.
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So I want to hit on this.
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Why do we often feel stuck or helpless when we're at rock bottom?
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I'm glad we started off with what rock bottom really is, because the fact that it's a thought, and not necessarily like a moment in time, it's really just the thought that you have of what is happening in your life and whether or not you're choosing to stay there.
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And sometimes we do feel like we're stuck because we feel like this is just like a period of time that just sucks and it does feel helpless, and a lot of times it's because we're just adding on other thoughts and other feelings onto that rock bottom.
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So we feel shame, we feel guilt and it's just this vicious cycle that we're going through and that's why we feel guilt.
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And it's just this vicious cycle that we're going through and that's why we feel stuck is because we feel like we're literally going in circles and staying in the same spot, but there's another place and not going to stay here.
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I am not going to find myself here again and I'm going to do something different.
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But it does take time.
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It does take the realization that you have hit rock bottom and that you've decided not to go back.
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So did you know that you have a choice?
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Right?
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You have a choice to make.
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Just like Mark said, it's a thought.
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You can actually change your thoughts.
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That is something that you can control.
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You can't control the outside circumstances, but you can definitely control how you perceive them.
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Yep, I love it.
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I love it because you can have, at the same time, the moment of where you're like ah, I've never been able to do this in the past.
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I've had all these things that are kind of like holding me back, and be focused on the problems, or you can be focused on the solutions, how this is something that's going to propel you forward so that you never have to experience it again, and the thing you put more time and energy into is the thing that you will actually manifest.
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So how can someone shift their mindset from feeling defeated to feeling hopeful?
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Yeah, I'm going to give you a couple different ways here, the first way being that your past does not dictate your future.
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So this was a big thing that I learned, and it was actually through like the interview process.
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When you're like going through an oral interview trying to get a promotion is a lot of times what they'll do is they'll ask you for give me an example of a time when you did this in the past.
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And the reason why is because most of us humans are wired to believe that, because we've done it in the past, that we're going to do that in the future.
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But the truth is is that because we have the ability of making a choice, a different decision, everything that we've done in our past can change with one decision and we can do something else entirely different.
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We can become somebody else entirely different in the process right now.
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I mean, isn't that so powerful to think about that?
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Your past doesn't have to dictate your future, and when you understand that that's the truth, then you can lean into that and you can change it, because you don't have to continue along that path.
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You can create a brand new path, one that you'll actually be able to take so many more people through with you too.
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Now, one of the things that I do want to talk about is reminding yourself like hey, I don't have to go into the past to actually dictate my future.
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That's an important part of the puzzle, but I also want to let you know that your past has led you up to this point right now.
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That process was trying to teach me to take care of my physical, mental health, or I won't be able to take care of my family when they need me the most.
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It tried to teach me that it wasn't just about how much work or how much money that I brought home that determined the value that I gave to my family.
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It was my time and my energy and whether I could spend that in a place that I really wanted to spend it in.
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And I wasn't learning that lesson.
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It came up time and time and time and time again.
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You don't just get to 100 pounds in this overnight and everything is, like you know.
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Only one big thing has happened.
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It's multiple times Like I went to the doctor.
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They told me my blood pressure was too high.
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I did this and did this.
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I couldn't get over the walls in a lot of the academy.
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There's so many different things and I was ignoring it and I wasn't leaning into.
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What is this actually trying to teach me?
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So, when you lean into, the mindset of your past does not dictate your future, and everything that's happened has given me the opportunity to actually find out where it is that I need to grow the most, because that's why I'm at this place.
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I've been ignoring it and I haven't been leaning in.
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But when you hit that rock bottom, when you feel that pain, sometimes we have to feel the pain ourselves, right?
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Sometimes we can learn from other people's rock bottom, which is, if you can, I would highly suggest you do that.
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But you lean into the pain and you realize I'm never going to be here again and you tap into these two versions of mindset and you will get yourself to show up and take all the action that you need to take to find out the right activities.
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Now this leads me to another question that is like how do you think tapping into your why can help you avoid ever being in that spot of rock bottom again?
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Yeah, it's about remembering who you're fighting for, what you're fighting for, because oftentimes, when we're in the thick of it, it just feels like everything is going wrong.
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We're in that vicious cycle, right.
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But if we remember who we're fighting for, like in our case you know our son it's something that is really powerful and it may not change things overnight, right, because, like you said, like we don't know the how, we don't know how to get out of that vicious cycle, but we do know that we're going to, we're going to try, we're going to give it our all, because when you're truly fighting for something much bigger than you, you can push through any adversity or obstacles.
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So it's really important to focus on your why, because that's a reminder of what can happen and what is possible if you're the person that can see where you're at and choose a different path.
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Yeah, and the truth is is we all have our whys.
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You have your why in terms of why you're even here today, why you're watching this video, why you're creating a business, why you're leaning into your career, why you want to be a leader like you are.
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There's so many different times where we just don't slow down to actually revisit our why and when you really do slow down to think about who needs me on my A game.
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Who am I fighting for today?
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What problem am I going to help solve, not only for other people, but for myself and for my family forever?
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It really changes the game forever and you become the one who changes your lineage forever.
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