Harness Reflection and Accountability to Transform Your Leadership Success

Transcript

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It's time to redefine leadership.

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Welcome to Modern Leadership, where we see things differently.

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Our podcast is all about empowering entrepreneurs like you to achieve the next level of success in business and life.

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We believe that you can create a massive impact in the world without compromising your personal life or family time to do so.

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We're committed to providing you with actionable tips and strategies weekly to make that possible.

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So if you're ready to become a modern leader and make a lasting difference in the world, consider subscribing, turn on notifications and dive into our community.

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We want to thank you for being here, because the world needs your leadership now more than ever.

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Let's go.

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How can we reflect on things as a leader, as somebody who's looking to grow, as somebody who's looking to get better, without using shame, guilt and humiliation on ourselves, because that never gets us to show up the way that we want to.

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Now there's a process that we teach to all of our clients.

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It's really about learning how to reflect on when things go right and when things don't go right.

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And when things don't go right, there actually are great opportunities to teach us what we need to learn to speed up this entire process.

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If you do what we're going to teach you here in this training, there's a way to reflect, there's a way to learn and there's a way to grow.

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That's a negative thing.

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We're actually like trying to push ourselves, trying to get ourselves to feel unworthy in order to do it.

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And then there's another place another place we call it our heart voice where you can tap in to the infinite possibilities that you have inside of you and find some really powerful answers, and if those don't work, you can find some more.

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Now we break this down into three steps, like we always do here on the channel.

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We talk about the tactics, we talk about the mindset and we talk about the accountability.

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Now we're going to jump into the mindset first, because if you don't have the mindset to be able to tap into this in a way that's going to help you grow through the opportunities, all you're going to see is problems instead of possibilities.

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So, teresa, how can we get ourselves to focus?

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Or what are some of the stories we can tell ourselves to remind ourselves of not only how important it is, but how to get through it?

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Yeah, and it's really reflecting on your wins and the lessons that need to be learned.

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So this will help create a more of like hey, this is a victory and I can keep going this way.

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Right, so you kind of know which path to take.

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But it's really about recognizing that there are wins and that you can acknowledge them so you can keep repeating them, because if we don't learn from the wins or the lessons, then we can't continue to go down the right path.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And so when we have this kind of frame of mind whether it's this was either a win or a lesson you are now going to go out there and find all the lessons right.

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So you can either appreciate the wins and say, how can I continue to do this?

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Or you can look for people who say failures.

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But you can look for the lessons and know that there's a lesson in every single thing that you believe that you fail, there's a lesson that thing's trying to teach you and, unfortunately, if you don't learn the lesson, it continues to repeat and it gets worse, and it gets worse and it gets worse until we actually learn it.

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And we've still been like having struggles with this, learning different lessons right, and so this is a part of the experience, but it's also an opportunity for you to grow.

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So when we tap into that mindset, when we tap into the mindset of they're either wins or lessons, now we have to start getting into the tactics of what we can do to actually pull that out.

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So the first one is is really asking yourself what is something that I did well in this situation?

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What is a win that I'm proud of?

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Now, it doesn't matter what it is.

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You put together a business training and nobody shows up.

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Right.

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You send a message, nobody responds back.

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You show up as what you think is the best version of you as a parent, and your kids don't respond that way.

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There is still a win there and you need to find it, because it's very easy to be focused on everything that's broken, wrong or missing.

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We call this being focused on the problem, and, yes, we're going to want to solve the problem, but the truth is is when you focus on the possibility, you're going to solve the problem by default.

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And so when you ask yourself, what are some wins?

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What is something that I'm proud of in this situation?

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What did I do well that I want to keep doing?

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Now you're starting to pull up some of those wins, and I don't care how terrible that situation is about business or family or health or whatever.

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There always is something that you can say I'm proud of myself for doing this, even in the worst situations.

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Now the second thing is asking yourself if I were to do this over again, what would I do differently?

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Now here's the thing when we coach people, we coach a lot of entrepreneurs, a lot of parents, a lot of spouses.

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We talk a lot about being focused on how we can take some of the lessons that they were learning every single week and we can actually move them forward into the next week, as long as we don't use shame, guilt or humiliation.

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This could sound like this why did I do that?

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Why do I suck?

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Why am I not being a good parent?

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Why am I not working out?

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Why is my business not growing?

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Why am I stuck?

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And there's no good answers out of those questions.

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They're just focused more on what's broken, wrong or missing, what's wrong with us, what's wrong with our business, what's wrong with our spouse, what's wrong with whatever right.

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And instead, when we ask ourselves a question that's related to if you were to have a chance to do that over again, what would you do differently?

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And what it does is it takes the shame and guilt out of it and it gets us to say if I were to do this again differently, I would try this, I would make this adjustment, I would make this move, I would respond this way, I would keep my cool.

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And then the follow-up question is how can we take that lesson and move it into the next time that this happens?

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How can we make sure that this is the priority for this next week.

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So when it comes up, I actually do show up.

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Differently, and this is how growth works is when you're able to ask yourself that question what was the wins right?

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But then also, what are the lessons and what are they trying to teach me?

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And if I were to do this over again, what would I do differently?

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Now you get to bring those lessons with you, without the shame, the guilt, humiliation.

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Now, the reason why we say this all the time is because when you shame or guilt yourself, I want you to think about this, especially if you have kids, if you are their super human, their super mom, super dad, the person they look up to, and you shame and guilt yourself and beat yourself up, I don't care if you're not verbalizing it, you're showing it in your energy.

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You're showing it in your energy.

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You're showing it how you show up.

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And when we are actually showing our kids how we do that, think about from their perspective.

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When they think about us beating ourselves up, they must be like ah man, if my mom and dad think that's about them, then that might be the same thing with me.

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We don't realize that we're treating ourselves that way.

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But I know I talked to a lot of you guys and you would say I would never talk to a lot of you guys and you would say I would never talk to anyone else like that, right?

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And so when we can reframe this and we can think about, like I want to be the role model for my kids and I want to make sure that I talk to myself just like I would talk to them, and when you do you actually model the behavior for them, instead of using the shame, guilt and humiliation, because you will notice that if you use that against yourself, you'll start using it against other people, kind of like as a weapon, and it'll actually deteriorate not only your conversation but your connection.

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That's why it's never a great thing to shame or guilt yourself, because then you'll start using it for other people too.

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And that is not how I don't know about you.

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That is not how I want to show up.

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I want to show up as the best version of me, and how we do that is by leaning into the possibilities, not to the problems.

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Now this taps into our third piece, which is the accountability, which is getting yourself to show up.

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The truth is is.

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This is very hard, especially when you first get started.

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That's why everybody needs someone else who understands this framework, who understands how to ask these questions and understands how to not only get you to feel like you're heard, but also knows what questions to ask you to not get you going on the path of problems.

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Whether that's a coach, whether that's a community, whether that's a team, whether that's a YouTube channel, I don't care where you find it, but finding someone or a team or something that can make sure that you're on the right path, that is, asking you powerful questions that pulls you into possibility versus the problems, is critical.

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That's why we have our YouTube channel, that's why we have our inner circle here on YouTube, that's why we have all the success posts, all the things that we do, because when you're able to ask these levels of questions and sometimes it's hard to ask yourself and find those when somebody else asks you it it's incredible how it will transform not only how you feel, but also how you show up and really the results that you get.

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So make sure, if you are somebody who struggles with this, that you put yourself in an environment that will help you to continue to level up and to continue to ask these powerful questions, because the truth is, your potential is infinite.

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You were put on this planet for a reason.

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You're here because of the awesomeness that you are and you have really powerful strengths and if we can continue to tap into that, we can continue to for you to use that as a light for others.

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It will change the game, not only for you and for your family, but for the world.

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And so, when we think about leaning into these types of questions, be willing to put yourself out there, be willing to have these conversations with a mentor or somebody that you trust, and then steer those conversations based off of what you're proud of, what went well and what you would do differently.

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And I promise you you'll come back to this channel, you'll come back to me, you'll send a message to Teresa saying how much this has transformed you.

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And the truth was is those things were always present.

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It's just that you weren't aware of them until they asked the question.

Harness Reflection and Accountability to Transform Your Leadership Success

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