March 10, 2025

Feeling Stuck? Discover How to Coach Through Life's Chaos!

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Are you struggling to share your journey as a coach? Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the demands of coaching while juggling life’s whirlwind? Join us for an insightful episode where we explore these challenges, providing practical strategies to empower you as a coach. Together, we'll discover how to uncover the 'wildly important goals' of your clients, enabling them to achieve real transformation, as well as keeping your coaching methods simple to avoid overcomplication. 

Mark and Teresa reveal their personal experiences, sharing their struggles and successes throughout their coaching journey. They emphasize the need for clarity, both for you and your clients, in order to facilitate meaningful breakthroughs. Additionally, we examine the chaos many coaches and clients face—navigating everyday distractions while staying on track to reach goals. 

We invite you to engage and share your thoughts on how you've managed to keep your focus amid life’s challenges. Tune in for inspiring insights and actionable techniques that will elevate your coaching practice to new heights! Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!

Want a personalized strategy session for free? Book a free call with Marc or Teresa: https://www.modernleadership.us/apply

Whether you're going through a challenge, or working on a powerful goal, join Marc or Teresa for a 20-minute strategy session and leave the call with a plan to make it happen!


Chapters

00:00 - Struggles with Sharing Your Coaching Journey

17:00 - Radiating Confidence while Coaching Clients

46:00 - Keeping Coaching Simple Amid Life's Whirlwind

Transcript
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So have you ever struggled with sharing what you do as a coach?

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Maybe you're having trouble telling people that you're a coach, asking them if they'd like your help, and you're just more worried about can I actually help them right, especially with all of the madness that I have going on in my life and the things that I need personal coaching through too?

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Well, we actually have a secret for you, and today we are going to actually reveal that it really doesn't matter what type of person the person is that you're trying to coach.

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They could be a doctor, maybe a business owner who, like, owns millions of dollars worth of business, or maybe something that you've never personally gone through and you're having to coach somebody through that.

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We want to let you know that it doesn't matter about those situations, that you can 100% help them have the breakthrough they need by discovering what it is that actually is holding them back.

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Now, today, we're going to take you through a process that we teach inside of our Coach Accelerator program, so that you can actually have these tools to be able to go out to level up your confidence, so that, when you're having a conversation with them, they know that you're going to be able to help them with their breakthrough.

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But you're going to know too, because when you have that confidence, it exudes through the other person and they will get themselves to show up on an entirely different level, especially when you know how to create those breakthroughs.

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My name is Mark Hildebrand.

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This is my amazing wife, teresa, and we have been coaches for just about 12 years.

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So me personally, I used to be a sergeant from LAPD, teresa used to work at UCLA Medical Center in the corporate office, and what we have found is when we leaned into our own personal health and fitness journey losing weight, getting into great shape, connecting better with our family people started to ask us about how we could help them through that.

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And before we knew the things that we're going to talk about here today, we were a lot of just giving them advice based off of what worked for us.

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But we found that number one is our confidence was really low because our clients weren't getting the results that they really deserved.

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And number two is like sometimes we would get a little bit frustrated because we were trying to give them all the steps but they just weren't taking it.

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And what we found is there was a pivotal thing that we had to learn in order to be able to lean in and to help them get through not only the things they're struggling with, but create true transformation in their lives.

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Since then, we have coached people in numerous different areas Doctors, people who are multi-millionaires, people who are struggling with their health and fitness, people who want to get better with their relationships.

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I'm actually coaching inside of the Dad Edge boardroom, which is a group of dads and fathers who want to become better.

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Through coaching people through all of these different areas, which is relationships, income and money, health and fitness through many different situations, we've been able to actually take what we've learned, package them up into universal principles and then teach them to other coaches, because this is truly where our zone of genius but also what we really love to do is teach other coaches how to help their clients have more of an impact so that way, they can make more money and create more impact in their lives too, and that's what we do inside of our Coach Accelerator program.

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Now, one of the things we're going to talk about here today is really being able to lean in to help your clients have those transformations, and this is going to be kind of an interactive thing, because, as we go.

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I do want to hear back from you.

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I want to hear, like what speaks loudest to you what are some things that you agree with, maybe what are some things you don't agree with.

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Because we want to let you know that we're always fully open to hearing feedback from everybody, but always wanting to level up what we're currently doing, because that's the environment that we want to create for our clients too.

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Now, inside of our Coach Accelerator, we actually dive into these a little bit deeper than we're going to today.

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Obviously, we only have a short period of time.

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We want to get into the things that matter the most in that training, but of course, we're going to talk at the end.

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If this is something you're interested in getting a deep dive into the things that we're talking about today, we have that and more inside of the accelerator, right, but we want to really focus on these three things today.

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Number one is because we want to keep them actionable, which is what we do inside of the program is making sure that there's bite-sized pieces that you can implement and take into your business, no matter what type of coaching business you do.

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Whether you're bringing into your full-time job, you're in the fire department, it doesn't matter.

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You bringing these skills in is going to help you become a better coach, help more people get more results and then help you make more impact and income right.

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But we have to keep it simple.

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I see so many coaches who overcomplicate it and you're going to find out today if maybe you have a little bit of overcomplication when it comes to you coaching and you're coaching your clients, because complication is kind of like it's the opposite of progress.

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When things get complicated and lack clarity, people can't step into that.

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Right Now, the first concept is to me.

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By the way, I will let Teresa speak.

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I promise, I promise, I promise she does have a voice, but the first thing that we want to talk about is what we term as our wildly important goal.

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Now, when you think about the first concept, like as a coach, one of the things that you have to make sure you know is what your client truly wants, and my client could be my kids.

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What do my kids truly want?

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What do they want to achieve by having me as their dad or working with you?

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What would they be able to achieve in the next six months or a year that would make their goals happen of the time, they don't know.

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I'm going to come out and say that most of the time you might not know either, but when you can help them identify and get clear on what they want, it will help you to get them to take the actions to actually create that.

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But it also helped them to see what's possible right?

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Let me give an example.

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So I was coaching a client this week and the client said that their goal was to get 10 clients into their fitness training program.

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Right now.

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For most of us, we're like OK, that's a good goal.

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It's like numbers that's associated with that.

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Like if they said by May or whatever, like that's a really good goal.

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The only thing that I see about that goal is it is very, very specific in what success looks like to you.

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So here's what I mean.

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We started having this conversation around okay, so your goal is to get 10 people into your program.

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So when you get 10 people into your program, are you gonna feel like, ah, this is a success, like I have had massive transformation and I was able to achieve the goal that I wanted to achieve?

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And she was like well, no, not really, because then I'm gonna have to find 10 more people the next month and 10 more people the next month.

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People the next month and 10 more people the next month.

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And so, through this conversation, what I found out is that she didn't necessarily want 10 clients.

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A lot of times we don't actually sit down and slow down and go what do I really want?

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And for her it was about creating $25,000 months, and being able to step into that would not only help her coach more to make more impact, to be able to have the security for her and her family, but it's going to get her to feel like I am on track to creating the business and making the impact that I truly want to make in the world.

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And so here's the thing, though, with this guys, as a coach, if you tell me that your goal is to have this many people in your program, you are shutting out any other possibilities that could have been present to get you to what you wanted, because you're telling your brain that it has to be a certain way.

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That's a problem.

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Because here's the thing If I had done what I initially did so we initially were working with a multi-level marketing company If I had planned in my brain which I did for seven years that this is the way that I have to succeed.

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I would have not been open to what I'm doing today, I would not be making the impact that I'm making, we wouldn't be making the income that we're making, we would not have been able to both retire from our full-time careers to do life coaching and coaching for a living.

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And so the truth is is you have to get very clear at what you want and not be so laser focused on how to get it, but just know what it is that you want and that's what you have to help your clients get.

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You have to get that clarity so that when they get to the end, they know that they have and they put in the work and they've gotten what they want.

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You could even say, like losing weight Losing weight is great, but is that what the person actually wants?

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Because what if they lose that weight and then they gain it back again?

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Or what if they're looking for more energy, or they're able to play with their kids?

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Or we don't really know until we're able to ask our clients questions and identify what they actually want, and not roping them in to doing it a very specific way, because if there's only one right, best, only way and that way doesn't work.

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What are the chances of you being successful?

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Well, your brain's going to convince you that it's not possible.

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That's why concept number one is we have to get very clear on what their wildly important goal is.

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Help them identify what they truly want so they can program in their brain to start finding the answers of how that's gonna be possible Now.

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I highly encourage them to start taking steps with what they currently know right now, but I want them to be open to other possibilities.

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Right?

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We actually had somebody in our program who was having some conversations, put some stuff out on social media and was approached by somebody else from an outside organization asking to hire them so that he could come in and do some teaching and training.

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If you were only focused on getting people in your program, you probably would have not been open to doing that, but that literally increased his income by so many extra zeros because he was able to meet the person where they are and actually program in his brain what specific goal he wants.

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This is why it's really important because your clients can actually hold themselves was able to meet the person where they are and actually program in his brain what specific goal he wants.

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This is why it's really important, because your clients can actually hold themselves back if they're trying to get it one way and they think that there's only one solution there.

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That's why we need to spend some more time in this.

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We need to be having some conversations and doing some coaching to help them identify what they truly want.

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Now, this is something we go into detail inside of the Coach Accelerator, but it's a very important part of the process.

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Get very clear on what your client wants.

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The second part in that concept has to do with keeping the plan simple in order to get it.

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So here's the thing Some of you guys love having a tracker with 25 different activities on it for you to take every single day.

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What I personally have found is that the people in our program don't really thrive too well with that, but they still want to continue taking action because they have full-time jobs, they've got kids, they've got all these things that they're trying to juggle and they can't do 25 activities for their business every day.

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However, people in the program are moving more forward in their business than they ever have because we're keeping the plan simple.

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So when you come up with this idea of like what it is that you want or what it is that your clients want and you, you will get them and yourself to take more action, because complexity is not going to get you to take action but also not going to get you results.

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And so the simpler the plan can be, the simpler the focus, the easier it's going to be to get your clients to take action and to get results.

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Don't overcomplicate it, and this is concept number one.

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Help them identify what they want and keep their plan super simple.

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The more simple the better.

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It's funny because we actually give our clients and tell them one specific thing to focus on.

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We actually got a message back the other day I've had more success in the last two months than I've had in the last three years of trying to coach on my own.

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That's what happens when you keep things super simple and you know what it is you want and you're not closing out any possibilities of being able to achieve that thing because it's a very specific way.

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So that is concept number one.

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Now here's the thing.

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It's great to start having these conversations and to figure out what your clients want and to help them keep it super simple.

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But there's something that comes up called everyday life, that next you have to start helping your clients navigate.

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I'm going to pass it to Teresa for concept number two.

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So have you ever said yourself or have your clients told you life got in the way, I couldn't do these specific actions because my kids got sick, I had to work overtime and I was planning on doing these actions, but, and then there's like a whole list of things that people come up with, right, and that is something, just like Mark said, you could have the best plan, you could know exactly what it is that you want, but life will get in the way and we call this the whirlwind, and this is something that, when we taught it in the group, people's minds were blown because they're like they actually now had like a name or a phrase that described what it is that they were going through.

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Now the whirlwind is the day-to-day life, right, the day-to-day things that you have to do.

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These are distractions, these are things that may overwhelm you because you're trying to do so much and it's something where it will catch you and it won't let you go and if you're caught in it, you can't really move forward with the things that you want to do.

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So, even though you know there's that, you know wildly important goal, you know where it is and you can see it so clearly, but life gets in the way, distractions get in the way and all of these different things happen.

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Like, the way that I can describe it is I have the best intentions, right?

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I let's say I have a plan of what I want to do, but one thing can happen that can completely derail you.

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Now there are some people that they still do really well, even with the overwhelm.

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But there are other people who, with one simple thing like them, getting sick, right And're like okay, well, I have to rest.

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And you know, give yourself grace, right, you have to rest so that you can come back better.

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But sometimes that will get them off track, right, because a few days went by and they didn't post on social media or they didn't follow up with potential clients, and if you keep letting that go, then that is just going to completely get you off track and it's really hard to get back.

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So your job as a coach is to guide them and to help them stay out of the whirlwind as much as possible, because it's going to happen anyway.

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We have to live our lives right.

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But it's a way to really help people understand that even if they have the whirlwind, if they stay out of it as much as possible.

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They can still, you know, reach their goals.

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They can still make progress, even if it's little by little.

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And I think that that's one of the key things is that when people get distracted with the whirlwind they feel like because it feels like a lot and they can't even, like, take that next step towards their business.

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And what I have found is that when I see someone spinning like that, it's like okay, first off, I coach them through the process a little bit.

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Right, I help them get to like what is that one thing that you can do next?

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That'll start to get the ball rolling again, that'll give you momentum, right.

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But, like, our job as a coach is really to help them identify, like, what's going on, what that whirlwind is for them, and try to keep them out as much as possible.

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Yeah, yeah.

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And what Teresa is talking about, like related to the whirlwind, is we all have our whirlwind, all right.

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We all have the things that we need to do to keep our little kids alive, to do the day-to-day work, to post on social media and to do all those things.

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Those are important parts of the puzzle.

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But you have to have a system that you can help your clients to implement so that they make sure that their whirlwind only takes up about 80% of their time and 20% of the time is focused on the thing that is the most important to them, the wildly important goal, and how we do that.

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We have a bunch of different ways inside of the Coach Accelerator to help people do that, but you got to have a system to be able to keep them out of the whirlwind.

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It's so easy to get trapped in the whirlwind and just be like this is just the way that it is.

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I just couldn't do anything.

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But there's different ways, there's different systems that you can lean into to help your client keep taking action, but not just taking action coming from a place of confidence, of knowing that they're doing the things that they said they were going to do, right, and so having a system to be able to do that is incredibly important.

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Or your clients, no matter how clear they are with a role, no matter how many great like little actions that they have to take, they're not going to take that.

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That's why you have to lean into having a system in place to be able to help coach them through the whirlwind and come out stronger on the other end.

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One of the things I noticed is from people who've been in the program with us.

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We asked them for some feedback in terms of like, what was the biggest aha moment in the whirlwind was one of those.

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The second is what we'll talk about in a second, but what they said is it was different because when they stepped into how we could help them through the whirlwind, it empowered them to show up even better and they didn't have any more extra time on their plate.

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But what they did is, by leaning in and keeping things super simple, it got them to take more action and get more results than they've ever gotten before.

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And these are people who've been coaches for a while.

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We even have a couple of coaches who are brand new, who now have clients, and it's all about keeping it simple but helping them stay out of the whirlwind.

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So find a way to help them do that out of the whirlwind.

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So find a way to help them do that.

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Of course we have something like that inside of the program, but there's many different ways to do that.

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But you got to find your way to keep people and you out of the whirlwind, because it's very easy to let it take over.