Erin's Secrets: Balancing Career Growth, VA Work, and Family Life Without Burnout

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It's time to redefine leadership.

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Welcome to Modern Leadership, where we see things differently.

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We want to thank you for being here, because the world needs your leadership now more than ever.

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Let's go.

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All right, everybody, welcome back to another episode of Modern Leadership.

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Not only the podcast, but we're going to be streaming this onto YouTube, super pumped to have another coaching session today with the powerful Erin.

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She is a member of our team here on Modern Leadership, really powerful, not only life coach but virtual assistant, and we'll probably get into that a little bit.

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But, erin, if you could do me a favor and just start off by telling us maybe a little bit about you, a little bit about what you do for business, and then we'll jump into any question.

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Anything that you have, a burning challenge, anything that we have that we can actually coach you through today.

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So do a quick intro for us, like who you are, what your family looks like and what your business looks like.

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Hello, Okay, great.

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So I'm Erin and I have.

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I'm married and I live in New Hampshire.

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We've got two amazing kids.

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They are both.

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They both have summer birthdays.

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So I have one that's turning 10 and one that just turned 17.

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My 17 year old is about to be a senior, so all the feelings.

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Yes, gary.

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So what do you do for your business?

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I am a virtual assistant and a life coach certified life coach and I've got a couple other things going on too.

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So we're going to talk all about that.

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But for everybody who is in our audience, you probably know who Erin is.

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She's the one who, like, does all of our social media management.

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She also is great as a coach.

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So I know her time is actually kind of limited right now, but she might be available if somebody does need some additional help as a virtual assistant, but also as a life coach, because when you have those two mixed together, it's beautifully like how you're able to like tackle everything in the inbox.

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Erin, I just want to say hats off to you.

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I don't know how we would do this without you, thank you, but that being said, I want to jump into coaching Anything that I can do to help you through, whether it's a challenge you're facing, something you're working on right now.

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What can I help you with today, my friend?

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Okay, so in large part thanks to you, my plate is filling up quick and I love what I do.

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I absolutely love it and I'm not looking to cut anything back.

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I'm actually looking to take on more.

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I have a need to increase income and keep keep a steady track with that without having to add an unmanageable workload to my clean work.

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Smarter, not harder, is what I'm working on.

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Okay, okay.

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So, um, is there a specific situation or time where this came up, where you felt like, oh my God, maybe I'm taking on too much, maybe I'm like overstepping my bounds, or is this just kind of like an overall, like I need to take an overhaul and look at everything that I'm doing in my business to see where I have the most opportunity to continue to grow and take on more?

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What do you think?

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It's both because I'm an introspective person, so I'm always looking at what I'm doing, what can be improved and what's going well.

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So there's that all just the constant overview.

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But then I'm also part of a va community who's helping me scale and um, make a portfolio, make packages and stuff for my services, and part of that is applying for new jobs.

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So I'm going can I really do that?

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okay, okay, so let can you take me through the last time that this happened, where you're like can I really do that, okay, okay, so let can you take me through the last time that this happened, where you're like can I really do that?

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Right?

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Um, and, and here's the thing, like when our brain asks us those kinds of questions, believe it or not, our brain has the answer in there and it kind of like hints to it by asking you that question, right?

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So in reality, your brain will like can, can I really do that?

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But deep down inside you're like I can't do that, right.

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That's kind of like the evilness that our brain tries to get out right, it's like I can't do that, right.

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So let's think about a specific situation that you were going through and then, yes, I will give you some mentoring a little bit at the end, because this is like one of our superpowers being able to identify what moves the needle the most right.

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But also, I want to hear about a situation experiencing, whether it was when you were in this VA group, when you saw something in there, when you, when you went to reach out to someone.

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Give me an idea of what was happening in that moment.

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Yes.

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So part of the VA group is checking in every week with how many jobs I've applied for and how many proactive outreaches, which is basically reaching out to a business saying, hey, this is what I do, I love what you're doing, I think I can help you spread your message.

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Let's talk.

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So in that check in process I'm going oh, I didn't do that this week.

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And then the voice comes in Can I?

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If I apply for these things, if I reach out, can I actually take them on?

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And what do you think when you say can I actually take them on what comes up for you?

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What comes up for me is I want to make sure that I'm still serving my current clients because, like I said, I enjoy it.

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I'm not looking to cut back, so I want to make sure that I don't drop any balls while I'm picking up new ones.

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Right, right, right, right.

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So here's the thing.

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So going back to this time when you went to go check into the Right right, right, right.

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So here's the thing.

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So going back to this time when you went to go check into the group right, and it was about like, how many proactive requests have you made for companies, right?

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And you had this thought of like.

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By the way, this is the deep thought, this is like the subconscious stuff.

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Maybe in the top of your mind you're like well, can I actually do this?

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Right, but deep down inside we have this like thought or belief.

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It's like if I take on more people, I'm actually not going to be able to serve my current clients.

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So when you think that, how did that make you feel?

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okay, that makes me feel like I should just stay where I am so if you were to think about that in a feeling, a feeling in your body, with by one word, what would that word be?

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If you're like I feel, like I, I'm, I've got to stay where I'm currently at and I can't move forward, what feeling comes up for you?

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Is stuck a feeling.

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Yes, it is Okay.

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A lot of people will say that, right, they have that.

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You can have it be a story as well where, like, I feel like I'm stuck.

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But when you're thinking about this, thought of like, if I take on more clients, more people, more clients, I cannot serve my current ones yeah, I don't.

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I mean, I don't think that's a story, I think it's a feeling here yeah, yeah, and so the feeling is stuck.

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So, when you felt stuck in that moment, what were some of the things you did?

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what are some things that I did?

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I listened to more of the lessons in the VA class because of course, that's gonna get the job done.

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Um, I went back to current client list and say, okay, ok, well, I'm not wanting to let these people down.

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Let's, let's work with what I already have.

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And that's what I did.

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OK, what?

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what are some things that you didn't do and I didn't do those outreaches or check the job board for opportunities job board for opportunities.

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Now, when you're here taking these actions of you know, listening to more lessons, doing more learning and, instead of the action taking right, going back to your current clients list to make sure that you don't let them down Right and that you didn't do those outreaches, reach or check the job board for new opportunities, what are some of the thoughts that you're having in that moment about the possibility of you succeeding at what you're doing?

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thoughts that you're having in that moment about the possibility of you succeeding at what you're doing.

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The thoughts are I'm doing a lot of reminding myself that the way that I got this job in the first place and the clients that I have is by taking it on and figuring out as I go.

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So I I feel that pull to still go out and explore what else is out there.

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Right.

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So it's like this, this back and forth of head versus heart, right Cause that's a heart voice where you're like you know what?

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What I've done before is this and we want to get there.

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We want to be able to get there, but in the moment when you're like, but if I take on more clients, I'm actually going to lose my old ones or not be able to like, like, do the things that I told them I was going to be able to do, and so you feel like you're stuck and you're like I've got to learn more lessons.

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I've got to like, take a look at my current clients, like, like, when we think about the head voices that could potentially be coming up.

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When you're like how am I going to do this?

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Like, if I do this, I'm actually going to be pulled away from the people that I really enjoy working with right now.

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Is there any other thoughts that your brain is trying to grab onto to get you to feel like this is like the nuclear option.

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It's going to be the end of the road.

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Okay, I think that pretty much sums it up.

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Nuclear option yes.

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So yeah, I guess there is a little bit of fear in seeing what else is out there, because my brain is also telling me what if it's just completely out of the scope of what I can learn?

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I know I feel like as a voice too, but I can learn anything, but it's that process.

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Right, right, right, right.

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So so, when you're doing those things, when you're taking those actions, what do you think you're manifesting or creating in that situation?

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Stuckness.

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Right, right, and and one of the things that I can we think about the story of if I take on more clients, I can't serve my current ones.

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Basically, what we're saying is is we're saying we can't find any new clients because if we find new clients, that's actually going to sabotage the ones that we have, and so we actually manifest is that we can't find any clients right Because we're not thinking of other ways, outside of what our current head voices is telling us, that would even give us the opportunity to find that right.

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So you really are in this place where you know you feel like you're stuck.

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Now, that is not the truth.

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It's just what your brain currently wants you to believe.

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Now, you know why because you're a coach.

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But I want to hear it.

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I want to hear you verbalize out loud, like why do you think your brain is trying to get you to convince you that you're?

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The brain keeps us safe and it knows that I have anxiety about exploring new opportunities and being put in new situations with new people, so it's trying to keep me comfortable.

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Yes, 100 percent, 100 percent.

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And my guess is that when you think about what you actually want to create, that you not getting clients, you not being able to serve them, you not being able to help them when they really truly need someone like Aaron in their life, that's something that pulls you while having that opposite effect of like but if I take on more, I'll actually lose the current ones or not be able to help support them.

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So can you see how, when you focus on that story of if I take on more clients than my other ones, I'm not going to be able to serve, actually gets you to manifest and create that you actually don't aren't able to take on any new clients and you're convincing yourself not to.

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I see it so.

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So when we think about, like the heart voice in this situation and we could ask ourselves a number of questions, right, we can ask ourselves questions related to this is what we typically do in our certification.

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We talk about like why is it that you wanna help the people like new people, right?

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Why is it that you wanna be able to help spread their message in a way that actually gets them to save time so they can do the things that move their business forward the most right, so that you could step into your strength and allow them to be able to tap into their strength.

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Now, that is one path that we can go down, but I kind of want to go down a different path with you today, aaron.

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I want to go down a different path, and the reason why is because you have done this before.

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You've felt uncomfortable, you've reached out, you've started conversations and because of that, you've formed some really great, not only opportunities, but connections and friendships with people, me being one of those.

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All right, and so when you think about the fact that you had all of these situations and circumstances that you were facing in the past, but you made a decision and you focused on a story that got you to do it anyway, and then, because of that, you're where you're at right now, because you were willing to be uncomfortable, you were willing to step out there, I really want you to go back into that frame of mind and I want you to think about what was it that got you to get past that, to find it as an opportunity rather than as something that you're fearful of, and then which gave you the ability of creating the fruitfulness that you have right now.

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So what do you think it was that you were telling yourself back then that got you to do that?

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So last time this happened it was a client who had referred me to another coach and she said hey, reach out to this person.

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I told her all about you and she wants to work with you.

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And of course there's that initial wave of fear, but then it turned into excitement quickly.

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So I got really excited about what I could do to help, because I knew that I could.

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So I'm sure you know what you did there, but you took the fear and you reframed it to excitement.

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I'm curious what do you think you did to make that fear turn into excitement?

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Because a lot of people out there right now are like I'm in the fear stage and I don't know how to turn this into excitement.

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So I want to hear from you, like, what do you think you did?

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Yes, that's one of my favorite strategies, mel Robbins.

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Thank you, mel Robbins.

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She has said that fear and excitement, or nerves and excitement, are the same thing in your body.

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It's just your brain that knows the difference and that, to me, made a huge difference.

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Instead of saying, oh, I'm so nervous, I'm so nervous, and then it gets more nerve wracking as you go, I tell myself I'm so excited, and then think of the outcome.

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I want, I'm so excited to meet this person and help her spread her message.

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And it's not automatic, but it's pretty quick that it works.

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And I'm super proud of you because this is a the deepest level of what we call self-coaching.

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Right, it's literally what I wrote my book on is being able to, in the moment, have that fear mechanism come up of like, maybe I can't take on this extra client, maybe I'm afraid of what we're going to, what's going to happen?

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Am I going to say the wrong thing?

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Right, and instead, like you said, like fear and excitement is the same feeling in your body.

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It's just that your brain gets to tell the difference, right, and you get to decide which is beautiful.

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I love how Mel Robbins talks about this.

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You get to decide which one.

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It is Not automatic.

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You get to decide and if you are in this new story of like I'm actually really excited to meet this person and help her spread her message, then that creates an entire feeling in your body.

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What do you think that makes you feel when you're thinking about how excited you are about helping them spread their message?

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I know it's funny to put this word with excitement, but there's a calm that came with it oh no, that feels that that kind of feels the same way.

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For me, it's like calm.

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It's kind of like I'm stepping in.

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This is what I do, right, yeah, everything's cool, quiet down and 100, focus, 100.

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One of my mentors said um that what he tries to do is he tries to become the lowest heartbeat in the room.

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And for me, when I step into a room, even as a when I was a police sergeant, I was like how can I be the most cool, calm person in the room?

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Cause energy is contagious and when you are calm, believe it or not, even in life and death situations, other people will start to become calm.

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Right, so I really love that.

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So, when you have a feeling of calm, what are some things that you do?

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I am able to focus and zero in on what it is I'm after.

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So in that moment I reached out to the person and brought all my energy and I got to say I nailed it, I love it.

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We had a great talk and it's been going amazing yeah.

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And when you think about that, even just right now, in this moment, when you think about how you reached out, you had a great conversation, the energy was on point and now you're actually able to step in and help her share her message.

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What are some of the thoughts that are coming up for you right now?

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I feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing.

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I've spent the last five years knowing that I did not want to work a regular job, trying to figure out what it was I wanted to do, and when I'm in that zone, it's like, yeah, this is it.

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I love it, I love it, I love it.

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So you said I'm able to focus on what I'm after I reach out to the person.

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I brought all my energy and I nailed it.

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It's been great to be able to connect with her and my my the thought process you had is this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

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Isn't it crazy that when we think about like, the story change right, you change from the story of like, if I take on more clients, I can't serve my current ones too.

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I am so excited to meet this person and help her spread our message that it just totally transforms everything, right, yeah, and then what we actually manifest.

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What do you think?

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you manifest in this situation or create that I had time and I still have time for my current clients.

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She worked into my schedule, beautifully figured it out 100%.

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How do you think you figured it out?

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I got creative with my scheduling.

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I am working later, but I've realized that that doesn't bother me because I enjoy what I'm doing.

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So I'm getting up a little earlier, working a little later, but I realized that running away from that isn't what makes me happy, because I enjoy what I'm doing.

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I love it, I love it, I love it.

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And here's the thing, like what you just said, right, there is like I got creative with my scheduling.

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That is also a story that you can tap into because you know you've been able to do it in the past.

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Now it's a matter of like, how do I continue to get more creative with my scheduling?

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Right, and that's kind of where I want to tap in terms of mentoring.

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Okay, okay.

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So here's the thing.

00:18:15.893 --> 00:18:18.375
We have the same facts.

00:18:18.375 --> 00:18:26.359
The facts are you're checking into the group about these proactive requests, right, and instead of going to the path of your head voice which is like ah, I don't know if I can take on more clients.

00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:29.124
If I do, I'm gonna actually have to not serve my other clients.

00:18:29.124 --> 00:18:31.290
We have a story, and it could be either of these stories.

00:18:31.290 --> 00:18:38.541
It could be both.

00:18:38.561 --> 00:18:48.400
I'm actually excited to actually connect with new people so I can help them spread their message too, and I know that I always can get creative in terms of my scheduling and how I can figure it out, right, and so when you tap into that, it gets you to even if you haven't reached out to people.

00:18:48.400 --> 00:18:49.843
You're like game on.

00:18:49.843 --> 00:18:51.788
I'm coming from a place of calm.

00:18:51.788 --> 00:18:53.351
This is what I do, right.

00:18:53.351 --> 00:18:55.583
And so you reach out, you start having conversations.

00:18:55.583 --> 00:19:01.161
Now, of course, what we also want to do is we want to solve for the scheduling things that you have coming up on your plate right.

00:19:01.161 --> 00:19:10.060
And so how we do that is I want to jump into mentoring, because this is a lot of what I do in like one-on-one coaching and in our success pods is going in and solving the problem in advance.

00:19:10.060 --> 00:19:23.083
Because here's the truth, like, just thinking in your hard voice is not going to make your schedule come together beautiful, and if you have 1000 clients, like, and you haven't changed anything right, then you're going to run into some problems.

00:19:23.083 --> 00:19:40.059
And so what we can do is we can really head this up right and we can start asking ourselves questions like what is the way that I can identify my most important activities, the things that I do that move the needle the most and make sure I continue to do it, the things that I do that move the needle the most and make sure I continue to do it.

00:19:40.059 --> 00:19:46.710
And, just like I teach people in what that I help, how can I outsource or eliminate or remove the things that don't move the needle, right?

00:19:46.710 --> 00:19:49.161
So, aaron, I know you are super laser focused with time.

00:19:49.161 --> 00:20:01.980
I mean, I get a timesheet from you and it's like 19.03 hours and I'm like, oh my gosh, your time.

00:20:02.000 --> 00:20:05.871
My thing is like OK when you're in that space, like how can we take the things that you implement in everybody else's business and implement them into yours, right?

00:20:05.871 --> 00:20:16.729
So, thinking about what moves the needle the most for you, what are some things that don't move the needle the most for you that you can outsource, that you can maybe get this amazing husband you have called Wes to be able to help you with.

00:20:16.729 --> 00:20:18.593
You could get some of your kids to help with.

00:20:18.593 --> 00:20:25.733
Like there's things that, like you do, that need to be done, but they don't necessarily need to be done by you, true.

00:20:25.733 --> 00:20:35.207
And then there's things that absolutely have to get done by you because they're your magic, they're your superpower, they're the things not only people pay you for, but people come to you for advice to be able to help them tackle Right.

00:20:35.207 --> 00:20:36.769
People come to you for advice to be able to help them tackle right.

00:20:36.769 --> 00:20:48.448
And so when we think about these things, we got to take a look at our schedule and go, okay, what are some things that maybe I can remove, do less of or maybe outsource myself.

00:20:48.448 --> 00:20:52.045
That would make sense for me to outsource so that I can open up the schedule and find more clients right.

00:20:52.045 --> 00:20:56.951
One of the things we don't want to do is just constantly add without taking away.

00:20:58.161 --> 00:21:03.847
Now you already said this other piece, and this is just another piece of mentoring that I want to bring up, and that is like how we deliver.

00:21:03.847 --> 00:21:18.397
We can get super creative on how we do it and start changing up some of the processes that even we use If we can find more ways of like let's say, systematizing things Right of like let's say systematizing things right.

00:21:18.397 --> 00:21:22.829
So I know for you sometimes you personally will go in and post and put things up on people's social media.

00:21:22.829 --> 00:21:38.549
What if there's a way of you finding some type of system you may even have this that actually can do it in a way that doesn't require you to personally post every single day, but it's a way of you being able to stack it up front and kind of doing it all at once so you don't have to worry about it for the whole week.

00:21:38.670 --> 00:21:47.530
Right, these are, these are just all ways, and it's fueled by this question is how can I, how can I achieve more without having to do more?

00:21:48.894 --> 00:21:49.054
Right?

00:21:49.339 --> 00:21:52.109
It's like, how can I achieve more without having to do more?

00:21:52.580 --> 00:21:56.624
It doesn't just mean me adding things to my plate, it means I've got to get more creative.

00:21:56.624 --> 00:22:01.973
And I know you, aaron, I'll send you a message going hey, aaron, we got to get more people on the workshop.

00:22:01.973 --> 00:22:07.240
What, what ideas do you have?

00:22:07.240 --> 00:22:09.143
And you'll have like 13 ideas and I'm like those are awesome, let's do all those.

00:22:09.143 --> 00:22:15.770
And you're probably like damn, I shouldn't have invited him about all 13 of them, right, but it's because you're in this place of like creativity and your creativity is off the charts.

00:22:15.770 --> 00:22:23.048
So I want you to start thinking like creatively, going okay, how can I achieve more without having to do more?

00:22:23.048 --> 00:22:23.769
Right?

00:22:23.769 --> 00:22:26.605
All right, so I know it's been about 22 minutes.

00:22:26.605 --> 00:22:32.688
I'd love to get your takeaway from this session, like, what is something based off what we talked about that you can commit to doing, moving forward?

00:22:32.688 --> 00:22:35.982
And then I want you to definitely reach out to me and let me know how you're doing it.

00:22:35.982 --> 00:22:39.531
But I love to hear what your takeaway is and what you're committed to doing as a result of this call.

00:22:40.520 --> 00:22:50.824
I am committed to finding some automations that I can set up and that awesome husband and those kids Yep, giving them things to do.

00:22:51.546 --> 00:22:51.906
I love it.

00:22:51.906 --> 00:22:54.805
Um, for sure Wes is going to thank me for that.

00:22:54.805 --> 00:23:02.452
All right, yes, okay, so committed to finding automations and then your kids and your family, getting them to be a part of it.

00:23:02.452 --> 00:23:05.836
And one of the beautiful things, erin, is when we do bring our family into it.

00:23:05.836 --> 00:23:11.807
Sometimes they think that all we're doing is playing computer games all day on our computer and that we're just talking to people or whatever.

00:23:12.508 --> 00:23:24.356
When they see what we're actually doing, the messages that we get back when people are like you've literally changed my life, you've made it so that I can actually spend more time with my family and get my business work done, like that's really where the family can go.

00:23:24.356 --> 00:23:25.257
Oh my God.

00:23:25.257 --> 00:23:27.041
Like look at this, look at what mom does.

00:23:27.041 --> 00:23:28.926
This is powerful, this is so incredible.

00:23:28.926 --> 00:23:29.848
I could do this too.

00:23:30.451 --> 00:23:33.404
And so when we actually bring them in, I don't want you to think that you're just giving them work.

00:23:33.404 --> 00:23:48.714
I want you to know like you're actually setting them up for success, because they're getting to see all the great things that you're doing for people, and they get to experience that too and be proud of their mom and for what she's doing, and that's always the greatest way to model the behavior for them, so they can go wow, I can do this too.

00:23:48.714 --> 00:23:50.280
Like this is something that I can do.

00:23:50.280 --> 00:23:52.143
So super proud of you for doing that.

00:23:52.143 --> 00:23:55.067
Erin, you better believe I'm going to reach out and I'm going to connect with you.

00:23:55.067 --> 00:23:58.211
I'm going to see how that that those automations and Wes is doing All right.

00:23:58.792 --> 00:23:59.374
Please do.

00:23:59.673 --> 00:24:01.883
Yeah, for sure, but, but let me also like um.

00:24:01.883 --> 00:24:13.144
Um, give people a way to connect with you, just in case they do want to reach out and get some support, because I've gotten so many messages from people recently that are like oh my God, aaron has changed the game for me.

00:24:13.144 --> 00:24:20.974
She's literally giving me back my life and I can still not only do things as well as I would before, but even better, and I'm able to connect with more people because of Aaron.

00:24:20.974 --> 00:24:25.884
So if there's somebody out there who does want to connect with you and wants to hear a little bit about what you're doing, how can they connect with you?

00:24:26.246 --> 00:24:29.079
Yes, so please don't be afraid to connect with me.

00:24:29.079 --> 00:24:30.361
I do have time.

00:24:30.361 --> 00:24:41.809
On Facebook, I'm just Aaron Rouch, just my name, and Instagram Facebook I'm just Erin Rauch, just my name, and Instagram it's theempoweredmom.

00:24:42.569 --> 00:24:42.910
I love it.

00:24:42.910 --> 00:24:44.250
I love it, empowered Mom.

00:24:44.250 --> 00:24:45.531
Okay, all right, guys.

00:24:45.531 --> 00:24:47.252
Thank you guys very much for making it to the end.

00:24:47.252 --> 00:24:49.855
Thank you, erin, for leading in Everybody.

00:24:49.855 --> 00:24:55.182
I hope this was powerful and when you think about the things we talked about today, all of these things are universal.

00:24:55.182 --> 00:25:04.744
Yes, getting on having a coaching session is really powerful, but sometimes, when we get to watch what everybody else is going through and the things that they're going through, we can ask ourselves how does this apply to me and what I'm doing in my business?

00:25:04.744 --> 00:25:08.462
And we ask ourselves a powerful question like that, we can get really powerful answers.

00:25:08.462 --> 00:25:10.488
Thank you for being willing to do that, aaron.

00:25:10.488 --> 00:25:12.981
Thank you for everybody in the community being willing to do that too.

00:25:12.981 --> 00:25:14.723
Thank you for what you do out there every single.

Erin's Secrets: Balancing Career Growth, VA Work, and Family Life Without Burnout

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