Aug. 1, 2024
Cheryl's Secrets to Balancing Thriving Business and Family Life
Can you really have it all—a thriving business and a fulfilling family life? Join us as we sit down with Cheryl, an inspiring entrepreneur and coach, who shares her remarkable journey of juggling her ambitious business pursuits with her cherished family responsibilities. Cheryl opens up about the trials and triumphs she faces in maintaining a delicate balance between her professional and personal spheres. Through candid stories, Cheryl discusses the significance of routines and the often challenging process of adapting them to evolving priorities, all while leaning on the unwavering support of her husband.
Feeling overwhelmed by the constant tug-of-war between work and family? You're not alone. In this episode, Cheryl reveals her internal conflict of managing professional duties with family commitments, like the anxiety of choosing between attending important meetings and being present for family dinners. We delve into the emotional landscape of guilt and fear of letting others down, which often leads to procrastination and incomplete tasks. Together, we explore practical strategies for reframing productivity beliefs and managing time effectively, ensuring that neither work nor family connections are compromised.
Discover how to turn your energy into a superpower for both professional success and personal satisfaction. Cheryl shares her journey of harnessing vitality to fuel both her business and family life, offering insights on effective communication and seeking support from loved ones to achieve a harmonious balance. Uncover how maintaining a hopeful mindset and structured planning can transform potential setbacks into opportunities for growth. Cheryl's story is a testament to the power of positive energy and purposeful action in creating a balanced and fulfilling life. Tune in for a compelling discussion that promises to inspire and empower you to achieve your goals in both domains.
Chapters
00:00 - Empowering Entrepreneurship and Family Balance
07:54 - Overcoming Work-Family Balancing Act
19:46 - Harnessing Energy for Growth
23:52 - Unleashing Energy for Success
28:48 - Harnessing Energy for Planning Success
Transcript
WEBVTT
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It's time to redefine leadership.
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Welcome to Modern Leadership, where we see things differently.
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Our podcast is all about empowering entrepreneurs like you to achieve the next level of success in business and life.
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We believe that you can create a massive impact in the world without compromising your personal life or family time to do so.
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We're committed to providing you with actionable tips and strategies weekly to make that possible.
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So if you're ready to become a modern leader and make a lasting difference in the world, consider subscribing, turn on notifications and dive into our community.
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We want to thank you for being here, because the world needs your leadership now more than ever.
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Let's go.
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All right, guys, welcome back to another powerful coaching session, this time with another powerful entrepreneur slash coach.
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We have Cheryl, who's going to be here with us.
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She's a member of our inner circle.
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She's also part of our success pod, which is a group of small group of people that we put together and we actually get to coach all of them on the call.
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But I asked Cheryl to come on here because she's an incredible human.
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What she's doing is like making an impact in the world.
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I don't want to see what I can do to help her.
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So, once again, this is something we're going to have up on the podcast, but if you'd like to actually see us in action and Cheryl's periodic table of elements on her shirt, you can join us on YouTube as well.
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Ok, all right.
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So, cheryl, first off, thank you so much for making some time today to jump on the show.
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Well, jump on the show.
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Well, I would start, but I had that commercial running in my ears.
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But, okay, I think that's gone.
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Thank you, okay, um, today, I don't know.
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Okay, I have the commercial again oh, do you?
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yeah, maybe you have the the youtube.
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Uh, on the background I do, I must.
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How do I have the youtube on the background?
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Hold, hold on.
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I'm sorry.
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No worries.
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Is that okay?
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I don't hear anything.
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We'll go from there.
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Okay, cool, we'll try again, thank you.
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So I am, you know, I feel like I am at a similar spot in my business, where I have been in the past and I'm learning all these new tools, and one of the tools that we have talked about is the tracker, and so I'm kind of redefining my tracker.
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I love routines, I'm into routines.
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Um, they've been very useful for me in the past, for me in the past, but where I'm struggling with my tracker is number one.
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I love it.
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So I'm having a hard time like modifying it just like any change, yeah, but trying to.
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I don't want to say the work-life balance, but that's kind of where it is.
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You know, I've noticed with myself in the past I've been either very focused on my business and then my job two of the things right and the families kind of fell off.
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So then I've noticed, I would say, like in the last year, well, two years really focused on the family and having great success there, and the businesses kind of fell off.
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So now I'm like, okay, I'm recognizing both of these and I really want them to come together and I'm having wonderful conversations with my husband about that, who is very supportive.
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But I'm still struggling with, okay, how do I not, how do I not shortchange one or the other?
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And I look at my schedule, like in the morning I'm like, okay, I know, morning is my superpower, so I should be working in the morning, but for some reason I'm not.
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And then the end of the day comes, and then I'm like, and my husband just, you know, we have a non-negotiable in our house that we have dinner together every night.
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So then he's like well, I'm hungry, let's go to dinner.
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And now I feel like all this pressure, like, oh yes, but I really need to work on this business thing.
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Can we just wrap that up?
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You know, and I'm feeling that pull, and this time with my business.
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I don't want that.
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Yeah, yeah, first off.
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So thank you for sharing that.
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But also, like you're you're it sounds like you're feeling the tug of your core values right when you're.
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Like I want to make an impact.
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I want to create this business, I want to, you know, bring in some extra income, but also want to make sure that I'm taking care of my family Right and and want to say, first off, hats off to you, because a lot of people feel like they have to go through this season where one of the areas of their life kind of suffers.
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That's literally what happened to me and it's the reason why I got into coaching is because I started to see that I could have both if I was willing to reframe it and ask myself a powerful enough question to actually be able to find answers on how can I excel at both right?
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Because, also in my business, when I first started, I was going into how can I excel in business faster, and that meant sacrificing my family, and that sounds like you're not willing to do it, because it's something you've done in the past, which is exactly the reason why I got into coaching, which is why I love what we're going to be talking about here today.
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Now, what I do want to do is, before we go into like the global thing that I'm going to talk to you about a little bit, at the end we'll do a little bit of mentoring.
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Okay, I want to actually go into a very specific incident, because I want to.
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I want to see where your brain is going, because when I see where Cheryl's brain's going, I can offer a different path for her to travel.
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But if I don't know where she's going down that path, like just giving you all of the advice and direction and oh, you could do this to your schedule it's not going to be helpful, right, because we're going to get into what's called coaching, the action line.
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I want to find what the root of it is, okay, so I want you to take me back to the last time that you had this situation where it's the morning time, you have a tracker, the tracker tells you what to do, but then you said that you're not getting yourself to do it.
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So I want you to put yourself back in that situation.
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Tell me, kind of like, what was happening in the morning.
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Just give me a little bit of a synopsis of what was going on.
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This is, I would say, yesterday.
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So yesterday morning I get up and I did a lot of things on my tracker and then I had an intention of I was going to review some calls.
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So I practiced for the practicum Is that a thing?
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But you know I was like, okay, let's like review, I know, let's review some calls, just kind of, you know, spend some time in that frame of mind.
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But I didn't.
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Instead I went to work a little bit earlier than I normally did.
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And why did I do that was because I knew at the end of the day that I was going to have dinner with my daughter and my husband and I knew I didn't want to be late.
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Right, I was like, oh, they're gonna know, they're gonna say there's Cheryl again, she's at the office too late and now all women are sitting around hungry waiting for me.
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So I didn't, didn't do that business building activity that I wanted to do that day and I went to work.
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Okay, so let's go through this.
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All right Now.
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What's first off?
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I what you're talking about and I just want to explain for the audience.
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You're taking the master coach practicum, so we have a training program where people develop, um, as coaches, which are already certified coach, and then they take a another course to help become a master coach.
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And you, you're preparing for that, right.
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So you're listening to the calls, like figuring out what you can do to continue to elevate your coaching skills, right?
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So, um, I just wanted to share that just in case somebody doesn't understand.
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They have an idea of, like, what you're doing.
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But I want to walk you through this, and the reason why is because, um, I want you to see what it is that you are manifesting in this situation, but also it'll give you a little bit of a glimpse of the direction you could go if you choose to go down this path in the future.
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Okay, so you said that you're sitting down and it's time to review the coaching calls.
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All right.
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Now, when it was time to review your coaching calls, you had the story came up of like, okay, but I don't want to be late for dinner tonight and have everybody waiting on me, okay, so in that moment all right, I know it's kind of weird, but let's go through this in that moment it's time to sit down and review the coaching calls but going through your mind is like I don't want people to like wait for me, right, I got to make sure that I'm there early.
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So when you had that thought, how did that make you feel in the moment?
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make you feel in the moment um well, didn't make me feel good that they are gonna wait for me again.
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They often do so.
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I was feeling already a little guilty okay yep so when you were feeling guilty all right, it's time to review the coaching calls but you have this thought of like I don't want to be late tonight and have them wait for me you started to already produce this feeling of guilt in your body.
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What were some of the things that you did in that moment?
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um.
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I continued on um my path to get ready for work.
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Okay, I started to get ready for work.
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Yeah, I started to you know, move down on my tracker, like I skipped over it.
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Okay, so you skipped over parts of your tracker.
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Okay, what did you not do?
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I did not turn on my computer and log on and look for a call that I was going to watch, you know, just to refresh, or didn't open up my notebook.
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That's another thing I didn't do.
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OK.
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Anything else.
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Yes, I didn't do those things because I thought I don't have time.
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I don't have the time.
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Was there any other thoughts that you were kind?
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of experiencing.
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In that moment, I felt rushed.
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What do you think that did for you?
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Feeling rushed, what do you think that did for you?
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feeling rushed.
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I didn't want to feel rushed, so I wanted to get out of that.
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So I was like, well, I'm not going to do this, this is going to take too much time.
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It's ridiculous.
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It's too much time to actually turn on a computer and open up a notebook, um, but in today's world I almost feel like it is.
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It's like, uh, and I didn't want to feel that rushed, I wanted to be focused on this.
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I wanted to give it my full attention so I could absorb and I could learn, so I could be better.
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I love that heart voice, but we're still in the head voice.
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My friend, we're still in the head voice.
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We got a motivator, a fitness professional, here who tends to love to go down the heart voice, but we're still in the head voice.
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Okay, so let's go through some of these things and let me just offer I wanna see, if any of these things came up, did you think about how you could review or listen to some of your oh, yes, I have thought about that.
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Did you do any of that?
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No, I did, I did think about it.
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I thought well, maybe I can do it at lunch.
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And then maybe I could do it in the car, but I can give you a lot more stories on why I didn't do that.
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Yes, 100 percent, 100 percent.
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We'll stop right here.
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Ok, right, so let's, let's walk through this real quick stories on why I didn't do that.
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Yes, 100%, 100%.
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We'll stop right here.
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Okay, right, exactly.
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So let's walk through this real quick, okay, so, and then we'll kind of bring it home in terms of, like, what you feel like you're manifesting or creating in this situation.
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So you have this tracker and you're focused on the tracker, but you don't want the tracker to pull you away from family.
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I really feel like some deep in here.
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It's like tracker is bad for my family.
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Okay, there's like this deep belief in there that's like if I do this and I follow it, I'm gonna pull myself away from my family and we're gonna tweet, we're gonna get in there, we're gonna like unravel that a little bit.
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But sometimes that's due to the past, that we experiences that we've had with a tracker, and so now we shift the blame to the tracker instead of us.
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Who gets to control how we think about it, how we feel and the actions that we do take, right.
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And so you have this thought of like, but I don't want to be late today, right, I don't want to be late tonight.
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And that made you start to already feel guilty.
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When you felt guilty, you said you stopped doing the tracker, you started getting ready for work.
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You went to work.
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You said you skipped over some of the parts of the tracker.
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You didn't turn on your computer and log on.
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You didn't open the notebook.
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You thought I don't have the time, I'm just feeling rushed.
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This is going to take too much time to turn on the computer and open my notebook and I just don't want to feel rushed.
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And you pushed it off to later, thinking about well, I could maybe do this later.
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But you actually didn't do it later.
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So what do you think in this situation that you're actually manifesting that I'm not completing my tracker and I'm continuing to feel the guiltiness of not feeling my tracker and being connected with my family, like at the same time, yep, 100%.
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One of the things that I wrote down is when I wrote down the story of I don't want to be late tonight, the, the.
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When I think about the root of I don't want to, I don't want to be late tonight.
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It's kind of like I don't want to let someone, the root of I don't want to, I don't want to be late tonight.
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It's kind of like I don't want to let someone down, like I don't want to let them down, or I don't want to let my family down, like I want to be there, prepared when they're there, right.
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And when you look at, what you're manifesting is you are letting people down because you're not leaning into whether it's the potential that you have in your business, the potential that your business could bring in for your family, so you could do more things with them.
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And so this whole thought of like oh, if I do this, I'm going to let people down, you actually start going out there in kind of like manifesting that to a degree, because you're not reaching your full potential, which is leading you down that path.
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Can you see how that happens?
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Yes.
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So so I have a question for you Like I know you know this, but I like to ask this of coaches so they can verbalize it out loud is why do you think you're there?
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It's time to do the tracker right?
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Why do you think your mind is trying to sell you on the belief of I just don't want to be late tonight, or the deeper one of like I don't want to let people down?
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Why?
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do you think that is Because I've done it before?
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Ooh, tell me about that.
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I feel like I let them down often because I'm talking about my J-O-B now.
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My J-O-B in the past has just taken over my life, and the main reason for that is I was the main soul of income for my family for about 15 to 18 years.
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So if I didn't go to work, I didn't be that high performer at work and keep the job and try to get those promotions or raises or whatever.
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My family would not, you know, live, you know, or whatever.
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So it was almost like I wouldn't dive into that job, like I'd live it and then everything else on the outside.
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Like I, I would be there for family activities, I would be there for the girls and go to their games and do whatever, um, but I was always had one foot in the job.
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Yeah, so, and I'm working to not do that.
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Yes.
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You know, a lot of things have changed, and I recognize it, and so that's why I brought it up, because I don't want to do that anymore.
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Yeah, yeah, and I'm so glad that you brought that here.
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And the reason why is because if you talk to most business coaches or coaches who would do what's called coach the action line, they'll give you all the actions to take so that you like what they believe, so that you have the path to be able to travel down, so you don't do this for yourself anymore, right, so that you are able to excel at both of them.
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But when you have a belief in there that's rooted in one is going to take away from the other.
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It doesn't matter all the actions they give you.
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You're either going to take away from your work and your business or take away from your family, because your brain is like it's too hard to have to think through how can I excel at both of these?
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It's too hard to have to think through how can I excel at both of these.
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It's much easier to just believe what I currently believe and say I can excel over here or I can excel over here, and so what our brain will kind of get us to do is it will get us to not want to feel a certain way about like attacking things, like in business, and doing all of those things that made me feel uncomfortable, and it'll be like, oh, cheryl, remember what you did last time.
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Don't you dare do that because your family is so important.
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And then it feels good to go, oh OK.
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Yes, I'll stop early because I love my family so much, but it's really tricking you into thinking that you can only excel at one.
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But there's this beautiful place all right, we call it our hard voice which actually says that you can do both.
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Right, and I want to tap into that with you, to ask you, like, what it is that you can do, maybe even a question that you can ask yourself that will help you tap back into a different energy of I can excel at both of these, and I know you're going to say something right now, um, but I want to hear, like if you were to have a conversation with somebody who was also struggling with one or the other, what you would ask them to be able to help them find the answer to all of that.
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I guess I would ask how I'm thinking.
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How would I?
00:18:25.587 --> 00:18:29.555
I would ask them, like how does um?
00:18:29.555 --> 00:18:34.332
I guess you know what, I'm not even quite sure.
00:18:34.332 --> 00:18:37.380
I'm trying to articulate my thought.
00:18:37.380 --> 00:18:42.069
I'm not doing a good job here you're doing perfect.
00:18:43.146 --> 00:18:45.884
This is the way the subconscious mind, this is how we explore it.
00:18:45.884 --> 00:18:47.582
We got to take some time right.
00:18:47.642 --> 00:18:52.248
So I'm sitting here going, okay, what, how would they?
00:18:52.248 --> 00:18:53.050
You know, what would?
00:18:53.050 --> 00:18:55.347
How could they change that?
00:18:55.347 --> 00:18:57.002
Like, what would they do to change that?
00:18:57.002 --> 00:19:06.402
Um, and I, I want, I almost want to say, like, bring the family into it.
00:19:06.402 --> 00:19:15.593
Like have, whether it be have that you know, have you discussed this with your family?
00:19:15.593 --> 00:19:19.277
That you're having this tug of war?
00:19:19.277 --> 00:19:26.366
Yeah, because maybe they would have a different perspective.
00:19:26.366 --> 00:19:29.073
That would say something like oh, I didn't know, you thought of that.
00:19:29.073 --> 00:19:37.682
Or yeah, don't worry about getting home right at four o'clock, it's okay, you know, we still love you.
00:19:37.682 --> 00:19:38.344
You know?
00:19:38.344 --> 00:19:45.566
Or you know, maybe we can change things up, maybe we could meet you somewhere for dinner so you can get that last thing done.
00:19:45.566 --> 00:19:49.874
Or you know, yeah, like communicate.
00:19:50.560 --> 00:19:51.323
Yeah, I love that.
00:19:51.363 --> 00:20:04.605
I love that, of course, of course we're going to talk about like a story that you can tap into, but those are some very powerful actions, especially when it comes to communicating, cause a lot of times we don't even talk to other people about what we're currently going through or getting any ideas from them.
00:20:05.006 --> 00:20:12.689
And when you ask them powerful questions like that of like I mean, you have a, let's say, you have a conversation with your family and you're like, hey, I just want to let you know I love you so much.
00:20:13.529 --> 00:20:17.701
And like this morning I was struggling with, like should I finish my work right now?
00:20:17.882 --> 00:20:52.013
Because I was like I don't want them, like I don't want to let them down by being late, and that's really important to me, right, but I'm just curious, like maybe you have some ideas on what we could do to make it so that I can do this piece in business, but also, like, not feel like I'm letting you down, because when I'm here, I want to give you the same time and energy, if not more, than I do in my business, right, and it would be a great way to have a conversation, but we have to help get to the root of what's holding us back, and think about how we can reframe our hard voice of we're letting someone down or that one has to be at the detriment of the other.
00:20:53.057 --> 00:21:11.625
And so one of the questions I would ask you, cheryl, is why is it so important and meaningful to you to both have a business that makes the impact that you truly want to make and connect deeper with your family, and how could working those in synergy actually make one and help the other excel even more?
00:21:11.625 --> 00:21:13.586
So what comes up for you when I say that?
00:21:16.048 --> 00:21:31.588
energy, that's what comes up, energy so even a question of like how could I make my business and family actually?
00:21:31.588 --> 00:21:50.871
Let's see, let me rephrase that One to fuel the other.
00:21:50.871 --> 00:22:04.018
That helps me feel the energy I need to show up as the best version of myself in all areas of my life.
00:22:04.018 --> 00:22:11.622
So why do you think it is important to you to be able to?
00:22:11.642 --> 00:22:28.497
show that way, show up that way, show up that way, um, with the energy you mean um, because I really think it is my superpower, like I think if I have that energy, um it, it just exudes out of me.
00:22:28.497 --> 00:22:57.375
So when I'm doing you know my business, that they would see that and they would connect with that, and then with my family, they would also see that and be like, oh okay, well, she's here now and she has all this energy to be with us too, rather than maybe being distracted or tired or something of that nature.
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:20.003
Yeah, I really love that because you're basically saying energy is my superpower and I find ways every day to inject energy into my business and energy into my personal life and my family to really show not only the people that I'm helping serve, but also my family that they're important and meaningful to me and that I'm willing to do what it takes to find answers to be able to excel at both of them.
00:23:20.003 --> 00:23:25.724
So, when you think that, how does that make you feel Hopeful?
00:23:25.724 --> 00:23:29.311
Okay, and when you feel hopeful, what are some things you do?
00:23:34.461 --> 00:23:40.410
well, I would smile actually, because that makes me happy and it makes everybody else happy.
00:23:40.450 --> 00:23:50.715
I'm just gonna say we got a, we got a Marco Polo from you the other day for in the success pod, with a huge smile on Monday, and I gotta say it was contagious to everyone in there, right, including you, right, so you smile, what else?
00:23:52.217 --> 00:24:00.961
um, typically when that happens, it's you know, um, I would do business building activities.
00:24:00.961 --> 00:24:10.866
I would share that energy, um passion, um for building my business, if you will.
00:24:10.866 --> 00:24:16.329
And then you know, I have that extra pep in my step.
00:24:16.329 --> 00:24:22.593
And so, for example, on Monday, when I saw my husband, I was like, wow, this is going to be a great day.
00:24:22.593 --> 00:24:23.935
What are you going to do?
00:24:23.935 --> 00:24:30.423
And we had this great conversation on, you know how that day was going to go and set plans up.
00:24:30.423 --> 00:24:36.411
You know, confirm our plans for the evening before we, you know, went our separate ways for our J-O-B.
00:24:37.214 --> 00:24:39.761
Oh nice, so you communicated even more.
00:24:41.006 --> 00:24:41.227
Yeah.
00:24:42.955 --> 00:24:43.999
What are some things you didn't do?
00:24:43.999 --> 00:24:46.605
When you feel hopeful, what are some things you don't do?
00:24:48.955 --> 00:24:53.968
Um, I don't get distracted, I'm focused.
00:24:53.968 --> 00:25:00.601
I may not know always the right things to say, but I say it anyway.
00:25:00.601 --> 00:25:03.663
So I take the actions and say them.
00:25:03.663 --> 00:25:10.303
They're not wonderful, it just comes out wrong sometimes, but at least I do it.
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